**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize