Dignity is for republicans.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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