I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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