I want to have your abortion
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Randomize
