he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
