Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
