My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize