Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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