We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
