I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I won't apologize to a one balled man
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
