brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
