She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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