...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
