So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
