OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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