First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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