Your dad touched me again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
