Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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