K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
