I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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