shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
