you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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