I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
