You made me cry and you don't even care
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Randomize
