Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
