In the future we'll all be gay
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
