Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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