apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
