i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize