You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
