Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
