they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
