you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
