I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
