I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
