Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
