one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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