You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she peed on how many people?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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