In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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