Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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