My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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