I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
