Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
