no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
