he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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