he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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