They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
