There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
