Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
