Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
