You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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