I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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