Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
