Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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