Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can't turn off my feet"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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