I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
