Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize