thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize