Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
