so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
